It’s almost an unwritten Sunday night ritual that you and your boyfriend spend the entire day lounging in bed, binging on a Netflix series, eat copious amounts of food, and to top it all off, get it on. Sounds about right. But, that food baby isn’t looking too sexy, and I think you may have forgotten the one unwritten rule. Sex first, feast later. If this happens to you, here are some sex positions for those nights when you’re both full of food but still want to get it on. (Golden rule: f*ck first then feast.)
1. Big spoon, small spoon
Spooning is the ideal position for the “post-binging-on-pizza-lazy-kinda-sex.” Simply lie down, both on your sides, and there you have it, ta-da! You’re totally doing it. It’s easy as that. This way you won’t have to worry about your food baby showing because only you will be able to see it. *See what I did there.* It is also probably the same exact position you both will usually will fall asleep in. So, once the deed is said and done, it’s time for lights out!
2. Mutual handy
A food baby is a great excuse to perform a good old handy on each other. A mutual hand job will give you both just the right amount of pleasure while doing the absolute minimum amount of work. And, another perk is that you don’t need to be naked for this one. You can remain fully clothed if you’re worried about hiding your food baby from all the pizza you devoured earlier. It’s basically a genius move. Another perk is that you and you’ll be able to talk to one another, watch a movie, or even scroll through your Insta feed while you’re going at it. I call it, how to be lazy 101.
3. The spider web
This position gives both you and your partner a break, and is perfect for lazy night food coma sex. Start by both of you lying down and face one another. Next, tangle your legs together so that they criss cross in the middle of you. If necessary, slide a quick lubey hand down there for assistance. Bam. There you have it. Lazy sex at it’s best. It’s also a good position to get intimate with your partner with eye contact and direct face-to-face contact. Your man will be gazing into your eyes, leaving no time to look down at your bloated belly. It’s basically just a dry humping contest until one of you finishes the race. AND you get to lay down the entire time, too. A lazy sex WIN.
4. Lazy doggy
The “lazy doggy” style position, is pretty much what it sounds like. Basically getting in doggy style formation, but in a lazier, more discreet way. Lie on your belly (the food baby belly) and have your partner lie on top of you. Instead of getting up on all fours, this way you can hide your food baby, do basically no work whatsoever, and still be satisfied. It’s a total win-win idea, I’d say.
If you can’t remember the last time you tried 69ing, here’s the perfect opportunity for a quick refresher. Have your guy go ontop, and you get to lay back and enjoy the ride. The 69 position requires very little physical exertion while both partners are getting pleasured, a total win. You can keep the blankets over you if you’re embarrassed of your food baby. Don’t worry, we totally have you covered.