Break-ups suck, no matter the scenario or how long you were together, they are always going to suck. There is no way around that I’m afraid. But what you can do is not reply to ‘that’ text from your ex, you know the one that says he misses you or he made a mistake. Don’t do it to yourself, you’ll save yourself a lot more heartache if you ignore it, but here are five more reasons to ignore that text just in case.
1. Don’t stroke his ego
If you reply to his text you’ll be giving him the satisfaction that he still has power over you. That all he has to do is text and you’ll come running back to him. It gives him reason to believe that no matter how he treats you, you will come back to him. Because, sadly, that’s what you do when you love someone.
But what if I told you that you have another option: ignore the text.
If you do want your ex back, don’t you think you deserve something better than a measly text? The boy has put you through emotional hell for the last few days/weeks, a text isn’t going to cut it.
So rather than stroking his ego and replying straight away, ignore him. You can be proud of yourself for not rolling over, for holding your own when your heart is breaking.
You’ll be better off in the long run, whether it is a new found respect your partner has when he has to put in a bit more effort to get you back. Or when you can look back and see how strong you were and independent.
2. The Relationship Ended For A Reason
This should be an obvious reason, but when the nostalgia kicks in and you start seeing the relationship through rose-tinted glasses, you forget the bad stuff that made you leave and only remember the good times.
‘I miss you’ reads his text, but do you miss the arguments, the smoking, or the late nights out drinking?
You need to remember those traits that made the relationship not worth it in the end because if you get back together those traits are still going to be there. And they’ll be 100% more noticeable.
If you reply and go back to your ex, you’ll be going back to a man who isn’t going to change, or can’t change. Just because his text reads he misses you, doesn’t mean he is prepared to change all those traits that annoyed you in the relationship.
Just as you probably aren’t willing to change your own.
So why waste your own time by replying, just ignore the text, and carry on trying to heal.
3. You Can’t Heal Where You Got Hurt
You hear so many people say they need to get closure to get over the relationship, you need to meet up with them again to get closure… but you don’t need to get closure from him.
You get it from yourself!
You don’t need to discuss the ending of your relationship with him, you were there, you know what happened. You don’t need him to confirm anything to you.
So sit down with yourself and feel those emotions that you are scared to feel, realise what was the problem in the relationship that eventually ended it, and work on fixing it.
Replying to his text seeking closure will only prolong the pain and the heartache of the breakup. So save yourself some torment and ignore the text.
4. Move on
This may sound harsh, but if you reply you let him know that you failed to move on; that he is the best you can do. When we both know you can do better!
Do better than the man who broke your heart.
Get the man who will treat you like a goddess. That will make the effort with you and sweep you off your feet.
You deserve better, but you’re willing to settle for less if you reply to your ex.
So act like the queen you are and ignore.
5. He’s just horny
Dua Lipa got it right in her song, New Rules. There is a reason it is so popular.
She tells you that he is only calling because he is drunk and alone, ending with “if you’re under him, you ain’t gettin’ over him”. She has a point.
A break-up can be hard, but one of the hardest parts is that lack of affection that you were used to. The cuddles, the kisses and sex.
When you break-up you lose that contact, and loneliness sets in.
But that is no reason to reply to that text from your ex, you don’t just jump back into bed with him because he calls. You won’t be getting your relationship back but just a familiar session and an awkward morning after.
Do you want to have to ask that cliched question, so what are we?
If you’re horny like he is, invest in a toy or go find yourself that rebound. But if you reply to the text hoping you’ll feel less lonely, you’ll be disappointed when nothing is solved.
Now give yourself 10 minutes to think about all of these reasons and your own personal reasons why replying to that text from your ex will not be the greatest decision. After 10 minutes you should have gotten over the initial impulse and be ready to glow in the fact that your ex has messaged you. He has realised what he has lost. How are amazing you really are. So cherish that feeling and let your confidence rise.