There are simply times where you don’t know where your relationship is going. There is suddenly a raging difference between your opinions, you find it difficult to breathe the same air. But necessarily these changes occur. Your marriage might be smooth and stable. These are some tips to help you take your relationship to another level and keep it going and some of them are proven tricks.
1. Get to know each other: You should be very much conscious of your partner. You should be aware of their little quirks. Spend as much time as possible. You should know what your partner likes and how they react in different situations.
2. Be honest: Do not lie whatever the circumstance might be. You have to be frank and open about your choices and problems with them. Trust is very essential in a relationship. You cannot build a marriage or a relationship on lies. Once the trust broken, it is very hard to gain it back.
3. Go on dates: Go out together. It might be for a walk, or to eat dinner, or on road trips, but spend a lot of time together. Give them the attention they require and make them your priority.
4. Hug for 2 minutes and kiss for 30 seconds: Kim Blackham, a marriage and family therapist, says that often kisses and hugs become mechanical and quick. It wards off the emotion that you are trying to express. So, make your hugs and kisses longer.
5. Communicate: Communication is the key. You cannot avoid talking to your partner. You have to sit down and chat about the problems you are facing. Share your burdens. Sit down and put your heart out on your sleeve.
6. Sex: Make your love-making intimate and passionate. It does not need to be long but it should be meaningful. Clinical sexologist and marriage therapist Kat Van Kirk, author of The Married Sex Solution suggests, “removing the expectation of having, long technical lovemaking sessions.” Give it your all even if it is short.7. Sleep together: It is important that you go to bed together and that doesn’t mean that you lay beside each other with your electronics. You should talk about things before going to sleep. A study suggests that it will help you clear the air and make your relationship last longer.
8. Give space: Don’t cling or be desperate for attention. It is very needful that you have your own time and spent time apart as much as you spend together. It will help you sort the things out and help you keep your separate identity intact. Let him / her go out occasionally with their friends or alone. Respect the space they need.
9. Don’t be dominant: Never try to dominate your partner or order them around. It makes you come off as arrogant and haughty. Treat them as your equal and not pressurize them because you want the things your way.
10. Show love: Don’t hesitate in showing and expressing your love towards your partner. They need to be assured that you are just as much invested in your marriage as they are. Show them the care and love they deserve.
11. Apologize: Fighting is okay. There can some suppressed anger or different opinions or one of you at faults. But always make sure that you apologize first. Don’t let your pride come in the way. It might be the case that you would have said some bitter things. So, apologize without hesitating.
12. Compliment them: Give them compliments but that does not mean ignore their flaws. Embrace them just as they are with their beauty and flaws. Never let them down by comparing them to others. Acceptance is the key.
13. Listen to them: Pay attention to them. People love it when there is someone who listens to them, at the end of the day. They crave your attention so don’t let them down.
14. Build rituals: Have something common to do, something that both of you love and make it as your ritual. This will make you spend time together and establish the differences in your marriage.
15. Build healthy boundaries: Every relationship needs boundaries. Don’t try to blur the lines or barge in their private space. Let them be comfortable enough to share things with you.
16. Encouragement and Support: It is necessary that you stand by your partner in the marriage and not against them. Encourage them to achieve their goals and support their initiatives. Always have their back.
17. Make them Laugh: Always put a smile on their face and cheer them on. Be there for them and let them be there for you. People like it and find the person more attractive and appealing when they make them laugh.
18. Watch movies together: According to a study from the University of Rochester, “taking in movies about relationships together, and then discussing them, is just as effective at reducing divorce rates as learning about conflict management and compassion”. Watching romantic movies together and learning from it is a bonus.
19. Be a team: Marriage is also about partnership and teaming up. To make it work, it requires equal efforts from both the parties. Don’t sag behind because your partner is doing everything or just because you are tired. Be on par with the efforts.
20. Acceptance: Accept the fact that your marriage is not going to be rainbows and sunshine. It is going to come with hardships. It won’t be a marriage, if it is easy and smooth. It is not going to be dazzling.
21. Never keep score: Marriage is not a game or a competition. It is teamwork with the same goal. So, never keep scores of what you have done or try to win by letting your partner down.
22. Appreciate them: Don’t lose the emotional connection. Appreciate them for being themselves and for being there for you. Studies show that nearly half of men who have cheated say it was because of emotional dissatisfaction and not sex.
23. Be Thankful: Thank them for the littlest of things-for doing the laundry, for cooking, for cleaning the room. Whatever it may be show them that you are thankful for their presence.
24. Plan a vacation: Formulate a long vacation or a small getaway for just the two of you to relax from the daily 24×7 routine. It will help you to build a connection that might have disintegrated due to your hectic schedule and spend some quality time with your partner.
25. Gifts: Little tokens or surprises to show your love can make them feel assured. You can sometimes spend a fortune on them but it might not be what they need to see. So, choose wisely on what you gift them.
26. Positivity: Try to build a positive aura around you by speaking of positive things and pointing out the positives in him. While pointing out the negatives can tear your marriage apart, pointing positives can boost it up to another level.
27. Nagging: Don’t nag your partner to do things. If they are simply not putting efforts, try to understand their problem and explain yours in return. Talk it out gently. But nagging will make you less appealing in the eyes of your partner. They would start to find reasons to not hang out with you or be near you.
28. Correcting yourself: No, this does not involve changing yourself to suit other’s needs. It means covering your loopholes and editing yourself to become a better person.
29. Split work: To make it work and have a peaceful marriage, splitting the chores equally is the ultimate trick. You need to work together and keep track of chores listed for yourself particularly. Of course, you can take over if your partner is exhausted, sick or stuck somewhere but make sure to do things equally and together.
30. Splitting Finances: Again, for a relationship to succeed, it needs balance. Both of you need to keep a track of the finances and split rents, bills, etcetera. This will lessen the chances of you accusing your partner for not investing into the relationship.
31. Be faithful: For a long-lasting marriage, infidelity definitely does not work. You need to be faithful and honest to your partner. Talk about the problems before making assumptions and let them do the same.
32. Prioritising your relationship: Don’t take your marriage for granted. If you feel problems arising, then take decisions to eradicate them. Your relationship shouldn’t be neglected as something to be dealt in the end.
33. Growth: This is a very important aspect of the marriage. let your relationship grow and you grow with it. Encourage the other one to grow with you. Once you stop growing, your relationship stops blooming too.