Love and relationships are two different things and they should not be mixed up when it comes to analyzing your own condition. Love is something great; it makes you feel wanted and safe and more often than not, invigorates you and inspires you.
Relationships on the other hand are not such cakewalks. This is simply because you literally make way for another person with ideals, ideas, principles, and way of life, into your own and make them a part of it. Conflicts are bound to happen. Because interference is something that people more than often end up against.
After all, personal space is pretty important when it comes to life, and independent existences are necessary for survival and creativity.
Fair disclosure, I won’t badmouth relationships, having been in quite a constructive one, but being in past ones that didn’t work out, I can tell you at least 12 things that roughly tell you that he/she is just not into you anymore!
1. THEY TRY AVOIDING DATES
They choose safer methods of communication, like texting or video-calling. They simply don’t want to invest their time and energy one on one with you. Take a hint and back off, slowly.
And this starts with a certain demeanor that you will be able to tell pretty accurately.
2. THEY NO LONGER NOTICE THE DETAILS
They ignore or forget small and important things like you wearing the dress they had bought you. Or they forget important dates, like your anniversary. They are always distracted by something else or someone else, and believe us, that might be one of the possibilities.
3. THEY START PLAYING THE BLAME GAME
Every little discussion ends up becoming an argument, and at that, they excel. Conflicts thrive around you two and they always end up blaming you with not only the matter at hand but also dig up dirt from the past and smear it all over you.
4. THEY ARE ALWAYS TOO TIRED TO TALK
They dismiss you offhandedly and state things like having to go to work early the next day as a valid reason. Well, it might be for a day or even two, but not for weeks on end. Take the hint. Back off.
5. THEY ARE ALWAYS OCCUPIED WITH SOMETHING
It’s either work or some other excuse. Or, worse, they simply go, “I really can’t talk to you anymore. You are never there when I need you.”
Extension of the blame game that is!
6. THEY ARE NEVER SUPPORTIVE
Their behavior isn’t what it used to be. They criticize first and dismiss second, and then if they aren’t asleep already, they might ask some questions that make sense about whatever your plan is. Also, even when they do ask questions, they do so with utmost annoyance.
And this is in the worst of all cases: they do something and then when you confront them about it, they deny it so vehemently that you start questioning your own sanity. You start blaming yourself. This wrecks you and breaks your confidence.
These are the kinds of things you talk about years later, with your therapist.
8. YOU AREN’T PART OF THEIR PLANS ANYMORE
They do have an active social life. The only difference is, where once you used to be the apple of their eyes, you aren’t anymore. “The hanging out with friends” became more and more frequent as the meetings with you become less and less frequent. It is the biggest sign of you not being on their priority list anymore.
9. THEY GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO HURT YOU
The hurt is physical in worst case scenarios, but mental in most. They do not lose a single opportunity to hurt you.
10. THEY WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE
They accuse you of being all up in their business all the time, when obviously it has never been the case. They just don’t love you anymore, but are too afraid to say it out loud.
11. NO EXPLANATIONS
Nothing is explained anymore, not even their being rude to you in public. They simply start treating you as furniture. You are just there, out of sight, out of hearing range.
12. THERE IS NO TRUST ANYMORE
Trust is everything in a relationship. You should simply walk out as soon as you notice this, if you are a self-respecting, independent-minded individual.