It’s true, your SO loves a helluva lot of things about you. They adore how nice you are, how giving, and how utterly hilarious (even if it means hearing your jokes over and over again.) But despite the adorable connection you two already have, it is possible to make your partner fall even more in love.
Now, I’m not saying it’s your job to keep your SO’s interest. If you guys are happily shacked up in a healthy relationship, then that shouldn’t be an issue. What I am saying is that some couples get a little too comfy, and often forget to keep appreciating each other. They also often need little reminders about all the things that brought them together in the first place.
This is what people mean when they say a relationship takes work. As Nicole Martinez, Psy.D., LCPC, says in an email to Bustle, “Relationships are work, and anyone who says otherwise is not being honest. We have to make the time, attend to each other, and put each other in the right place in our priorities.” If you both can keep that up on the regular, then you’ll be falling head over heels for each other again and again. Read on for some ways to do just that.
1. BE APPRECIATIVE
If you’ve been with your partner for a minute, then I’m sure the appreciation levels have started to dwindle. Maybe they always make dinner and you sit down to eat without thinking twice. Or maybe your partner always changes the toilet paper roll, despite never hearing a “thank you.” If that’s the case, start showing more gratitude. “Tell them each day … something that [you] appreciate about them,” Martinez says. They’ll love that their thoughtfulness isn’t going unnoticed.
2. GIVE ‘EM SOME SPACE
Of course there’s the whole “distance makes the heart grow fonder” thing. But spending time apart also allows you both time to decompress and pursue your own hobbies. In fact, giving your SO the gift of solitude (without them having to awkwardly ask) might just be one of the nicest things you can do.
3. OFFER TO DO THEIR MOST HATED CHORES
“If you know they dislike a particular task, offer to take it over,” Martinez suggests. This could be as simple as cleaning out the gross sink drain, or as big as walking the dog when it’s super cold outside. If it’s a task that makes them groan with despair, taking over will fill their eyes with big red hearts.
4. QUIT STARING INTO YOUR PHONE
Nothing’s worse than hanging out with your partner only for him or her to spend the entire time gazing into their phone. So don’t do it to them, either. “By staring into each other’s eyes and not your small screen, you’re sending a super bonding message: You are the most important thing to me,” wrote lifestyle expert Jillian Kramer on Glamour.
5. FIGHT THE NICE WAY
OK, so making your partner fall more in love with you isn’t just about doing nice things. It can also be about not doing mean things. This mostly applies to being fair during agreements. Using “we” statements is one way to not get all finger point-y, according to the editors of Prevention. Same goes for forgetting the whole name-calling thing. (Just don’t do it.)
6. LET THEM VENT IT OUT
Did your partner have a bad day? Then they’ll probably really appreciate it if you listen while they blow off steam, according to Jenna Birch on Woman’s Day. Since they likely do it for you on the regular (I mean, who doesn’t need to vent at least a few times a week?), being kind enough to return the favor will not go unnoticed.
7. TRY TO MATCH UP YOUR SCHEDULES
“Make a point to keep the connection of things like going to bed at the same time, sleeping together, eating together, etc.,” Martinez says. This shared schedule will keep you guys as close as can be. Plus, your partner will likely love that they get to cuddle before falling asleep. (Aww.)
8. REMEMBER THE DETAILS
The next time you have a chance to put a personal touch on something, do it. “Remember what your partner said they like in their coffee, or show up with their favorite flower,” relationship expert Rachel DeAlto told Kramer. It’ll show that you not only care, but that you listen. And what could be more loving than that?
9. TAKE THE TIME TO CHECK IN
Don’t let your busy schedule take a toll on your relationship. “Make a brief time each day to check in and see how they are doing and keep up-to-date on what is going on in their lives,” Martinez says. This might include calling on their lunch break, or sending some sweet texts throughout the day. Anything to show that they’re on your mind.
10. SHOWER THEM WITH WELL-TIMED GIFTS
If your SO had the suckiest day, then consider popping home with some takeout, or a little gift to show you care. “It doesn’t have to be expensive, just thoughtful,” said lifestyle writer Shauna Robinson on ThoughtCatalog.com. They’ll love that you took the time to make their day just a tiny bit better.
11. CELEBRATE YOUR SO’S SUCCESSES
If your partner was promoted, or simply made it through the day without anything annoying happening, then be down to have a little mini celebration. This is an important part of a healthy relationship, according to Prevention, as it helps reinforce that you guys are a team. And that, after all, is one of the best things about being in a loving relationship.
As is putting your partner before yourself. If you can do it — at least some of the time — you’ll show them how much you care, while also creating a happier, healthier relationship